Columbus, Alan Shepard and Us ...

VH1 recently broadcast a repeat of One-Hit Wonders of the '80s. Although all of the songs are at least familiar, many are integral to '80s popular culture and we count some among our favorite songs. Of course, some are mindbogglingly terrible. In any event, the broadcast was the impetus for considerable debate about the nature of a one-hit wonder. What constitutes a one-hit wonder? Is it simply a band that managed to release a single song that, for a fleeting moment, was a ubiquitous radio presence? If so, what is the embodiment of a hit? Is the song required to chart in one of the various music publications?

It is difficult to definitively answer these questions from the VH1 list. For example, "Mexican Radio" by Wall of Voodoo went to #58 on the Billboard chart. Is that a hit? "Dear God" by XTC did not appear in the Billboard Hot 100, but "The Mayor of Simpleton" went to #72 on the Hot 100 and #1 in Billboard's Modern Rock chart. Despite producing more than one notable song and achieving greater chart success on later releases, XTC and "Dear God" are considered one-hit wonders. An additional problem arises when one considers a band with international success. For example, several bands on the list were (or became) superstars in other countries while producing only one well-known song in the US. The converse is also true.

Whatever constitutes the pure nature of a one-hit wonder, we seek to answer a different question: is one-hit wonder status justified? The term "one-hit wonder" is typically used pejoritively. Consequenly, many of the artists in the broadcast made defensive comments, such as "at least we had one hit." This raised a question we had henceforth not considered. Should/could they have had additional hits? We seek to vindicate, wherever possible, artists who were unjustly relegated to one-hit wonder status. We will use the VH1 list, despite its often confusing compilation methodology. As a shorthand, we propose the following rating system:

No wonder: The one-hit wonder is far and away the best song on the album. The album is comprised largely of unfinished ideas, half-baked songs and filler.

Small wonder: A decent album, but still the one-hit wonder stands out completely. The album is reasonably cohesive and a couple of songs might have been hits if given a chance, but overall the record is a vehicle for the one-hit wonder.

Full of wonder: An all around excellent record. The fact that this band is considered a one-hit wonder is mindboggling, as the songs are uniformly well-written, the performances fantastic and the album as a whole cohesive.

We expect our quest to be both rewarding and excruciatingly painful. So it was for Lewis and Clark. Unlike them, we do not expect to encounter grizzly bears. So we have that going for us. Join us, won't you?

Best,

Dr. Dad and JJR, ESQ.